I have been contemplating -- and yes, I admit it -- complaining about the general lack of acknowledgments being bandied about in our world today. I don't really understand why people don't acknowledge each other more. It's so damn fun. Why wouldn't everyone want to do it?
I was trained very well by a series of friends and family, starting with my dad, who loved to acknowledge me and others. I watched him do it in his business and saw that it was what made it a happy workplace. I also knew how it worked on me, marking my evolution as a good person, to show me that someone was watching who I was becoming in the world.
It feels great to be acknowledged as thoughtfully as my dad did it, with all his heart on deck for the ceremony of it all, but damn I am also absolutely unabashedly conscious of the fact that it makes me feel just as happy to acknowledge others as it makes them feel. I don't do it for me. At least I don't think I do. But honestly how could I separate out a history of feeling better when acknowledging someone? And does it really matter if part of my motivation is that making someone feel good also feels good to me? I think not.
I think acknowledging people can be vulnerable work, and it's possible I'm just used to the years of vulnerability. You have to unveil what touched or moved you to speak up. I find that even when I am acknowledging something devoid of emotional spin, I do feel a little vulnerable still to this day. Will they reject my acknowledgment, disagree or not like the way I say it? I often have a hard time receiving it myself. It's even more vulnerable to receive it, but still giving it is vulnerable as well.
Several months ago I accomplished a near miracle for someone and I received no acknowledgment for it. I was thrilled beyond belief to have been able to accomplish this not so small near miracle. Truly, I remember feeling more alive than possibly ever before when it occurred. I was buzzing with the thrill of it all. So I got all the goodies that come from doing a good deed. Yet, the lack of acknowledgment of any kind put a little dent in the post-near-miracle joy. It's like we didn't put a period at the end of the sentence of that experience. We wrote that sentence together. It's begging for a punctuation mark.
I didn't need a big thank you. Sometimes the tiniest, simplest of thank you's are the most precious. Two days ago I found this acknowledgment on my front porch. It was sent to me by my neighbor's son. I asked her why I had been so blessed to find this magical black handmade envelope and magical contents awaiting me.
She explained that her son had been contemplating the used -- yes USED - birdfeeders I had handed off to them, and decided that he wanted to do something nice for me. So he made these lovely little sculptures and wrapped them lovingly, artistically and left them for me as a little love surprise.
I'm pretty sure this heals every single missed acknowledgment I have had in my entire life. They truly are the best neighbors on the planet and his mom and I actually have a battle of acknowledgments that we have agreed is a little out of control, yet slightly hilarious. But neither of us is lying, we just truly do appreciate each other and what we do for each other. But she wins the battle because when her kids say thank you - often in the form of artistic missives like this one - even if its the sweet little utterances of the words "Thank you Miss Bridget," my heart is beyond satiated and happy at the punctuation mark on that lovely sentence.
Today someone at work provided me with something truly brilliant. I asked for some information but I got far, far more than that, all of it exquisitely written aka "stealable"! I wrote an email to her boss and her boss's boss to mark the occasion of her going above and beyond and being a genius about it to boot.
Her boss forwarded my email to her and she thanked me for my paean. I am embarrassed that I have been on this planet as long as I have and did not previously know this most glorious word. It's now my favorite word.
Who doesn't love enthusiastic praise? It's a true gift and like every gift exchange it really is hard to figure out which end is more satisfying. But I think paeans are the gift that keeps on giving.
Acknowledgment: it's what's for dinner. Try it, you'll like it. Paeans will be served for dessert over a warm berry compote.
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