Ever since election night almost two weeks ago, I have been having nightly Trump related dreams, each so startling and vivid that I got up and spoke the details of them into a recording. I hope I'm ending the cycle by getting at least one of the lessons today.
One of the first dreams had me living in my dream home, a beautiful modern house, , not unlike the one Tom Marble and his wife Pae White built for themselves, with a courtyard in the center of the design, all rooms surrounding that open courtyard: Paige Street House by Marbletecture . I fell in love with this design when I first saw it in Sri Lanka when I was 20, and it's been my dream house ever since. Apparently my soul took that quite literally. In my dream, I had a ginormous rendering of the design.
The center courtyard in this version of my house was a zen garden. In the dream I woke up hearing people bustling around, and walked out of my bedroom to find FBI agents swarming all the rooms Most of the agents were inspecting the courtyard which was now far from zen, as it was full of huge anti-semitic sculptures. The sculptures were all several feet tall and wide, heavy cement, all different modern designs, but not beautiful because they were covered with swastikas and other hate-filled graffiti. They were so large the only way I could figure out they had been placed there was via a crane. They were all far too large to come in a door or window. I was baffled by the efforts made to make their point.
I sat quietly on a chair contemplating that point, as the law enforcement teams roamed noisily around me. I thought "I'm not Jewish," and thought this must be happening far and wide, if it had happened to me. Then it dawned on me. Technically, I am Jewish! My mom was not raised Jewish and has been Catholic most of my life. Her mom was Jewish, though, and therefore I am technically Jewish, as it passed through the mother's lineage. Then I realized that in this horrid Trumpian dreamworld, someone had ferreted out this info, which I barely remember myself, and attacked me because of it.
I sat paralyzed, watching the mouths move of the well-meaning agents as they confessed to me that it would be hard to find who did this, but they would work very hard to do so. They were angry and a few of them wanted me to be too. They looked at me as if waiting with baited breath for me to raise the cry for retaliation, and were dumbfounded when I just sat there. I wasn't "with" them in any way. I thought of those who had far worse done to them. Maybe neighbors? People down the road?
The nightly Trump lessons all have the same struggle: how can I make a difference? And the dreams always say the same thing: Act, don't react. Let them do their thing, the dreams say. Don't react with matching energy. Simply act. Matching their energy never works in the dreams.
Last night I woke up three times and each time the message that Trump's attacks are only revealing his fear -- to millions around the globe. His Twitter feed is like a long confessional of that which scares or intimidates him, that his Twitter attacks don't make him look tough, they make him look weak. I repeatedly got the instruction to tweet to him that great leaders manage their fears behind the scenes and he should try to follow suit. They can even admit their fears to those they lead -- which is healing for everyone -- IF they work through the fears, so the fear isn't dictating their actions. But that is mighty work that those leaders do behind the scenes. It used to be that bullies were feared far more.
Anti-bullying groups, teachers, schools, Lady Gaga and other artists have all done so much for this conversation. Natalie Hampton's new Sit With Us App is doing even more. The curtain is being pulled away to reveal the bully as the fearful powerless one he or she really is behind the bravado.
We don't need to cut down the bully. The bully is cut down, hence the bullying. The bully has forgotten his true power. We just need to reach out and share the real power -- love -- with those who need support, bullied or otherwise. They've got it already, but sharing ours allows them to remember their own.
When we re-act with in-kind energy, we are falling into the volcano of fear too. If we stay in the fear of how we can possibly protect our brothers and sisters who are being currently verbally threatened, we are far less powerful ourselves. If we stay in the love that inspires us to protect them, and we take positive actions to buoy them up, give them what they need to feel safe and to stay out of fear, we all get to become more and more powerful.
React. Re. Act. Re. It's been done. Over and out, good buddy. Re is the past.
Just act. Acting out of love, all the more powerful.
I have a long way to go myself. Anger is definitely an enticing drink to sip. So is paralysis. Yummy, intoxicating, seemingly-relaxing-but-oh-so-not paralysis.
I'm trying to take a positive loving action every day. Calling lawmakers to take a stand for our brothers and sisters. Reaching out to those I know are in fear. I'm smiling more at strangers. Anything to calm the fear fires with love. I have a long, long way to go in my own heart, but every day an action helps.
