Catch the Wave, Moms! Catch the Wave, Dads! Girl Power: You Are Enough

This is a call to action to jump into this Superhero ocean.  Jen Pastiloff is a Superhero of Love, for sure.  Even when stripped down to just her yoga clothes, you can see her tucked-in cape peeking out.  After class she lets it loose to fly off to her next heart-opening adventure.  

Now she is turning her attention to girls.  Her superhero laser beam is focused on having them realize they are enough just as they are right now.  That's a passion near and dear to my heart as it is the core theme of the book I am completing "Superhero of Love: Heal Your Broken Heart and then Go Save the World."  We are perfect exactly as we are and exactly as we are not.  

We all need to get that mighty heart lesson, and Jen lives, breathes and teaches that every day.  Most thrilling of all is she is about to launch the rocket that will carry this teaching to the hearts and minds of hundreds of girls.  They will get it.  Can you imagine truly imbibing this lesson as a teen?!  What a gift!

Yes, there is a lot of great work being done with girls trying to undo the societal pressures to fit into the Kardashian molds, but man oh man, let's support this woman who is going to do it on a holistic and holy level. 

Follow Jen on Twitter and Facebook.  Help spread the word.  Every mom and dad should at least open the window to having their daughter be a part of this.  Every mom and dad will hopefully want to be a part of this!

Superhero Moms! Check out these Back to School Recipes!

Two super easy recipes are in this one post over on the Lazy Woman Blog, so click the link to make your life easier right this second!  Go!



Lazy Ass Back to School Recipes

If Only Moms & Dads Could Go to Their Own Funerals

 

I went to a beautiful funeral yesterday of a woman gone far too soon.  Even at 81, people can be considered gone far too soon.  She had one of those zestful spirits that everyone wanted to be around forever, and frankly, she just seemed like she had the will to do it, no matter what ill may fall upon her. 

I hadn't seen Margie in a long time.  She was the mom of my college boyfriend.  I have always continued to adore her from afar, and his entire family, including his beloved wife. I'm always thrilled when our paths cross, and am so grateful for Facebook.  But, I didn't see Margie often over the years.  And yet she left a deep, lasting impression on me: her quick smile + laugh, her wry wit, and the way she teased me, a combo like no other - with brains + heart, and in a way that I somehow appreciated (even though I seem to have an only child allergy to teasing).  

The first thing I thought when I heard she was gone was that she must have been grateful near the end that each and every one of her kids carry her most precious attributes into the future.  They are all quick to smile, laugh, and share her humor.  Each and every one of them is funny.  They carry her forward in all the very best ways.

Margie's daughter, Cecily, gave the moving and smart eulogy, which was mighty impressive as it was able to speak eloquently on behalf of all 6 kids, as if they had all taken part in its writing.  I couldn't help but think -- as we all do at funerals -- wow, she would have loved this and felt so very loved.

Even when they know we love them and we even get to tell them all the ways we loved them before they die, there's something specific about funerals that could really make a mom or dad proud.  This family lost their dad long ago but I have a fantasy that they were both floating Bewitched-style high up in the back of the church yesterday, thinking "Damn, we did good."

So, if you are a mom or a dad, even if you don't have the most harmonious relationship with your kid, just know that when push comes to shove you have passed on to them everything they need to be their best, and left out all the right stuff, even if that right stuff is something they need to pick up at a different venue down the line. 

And, hopefully you can imagine your funeral and in your mind's eye watch them rise to their highest selves to get through the terrible grief, and to fully honor you.  Because damn if it isn't always what happens.  People rise to the occasion.  A lot of us learned that from our parents.  So, all you moms and dads please know that you are loved and appreciated far beyond your wildest dreams.

Open Sesame: A Way of Life

Lookie, lookie here to open that door:  Huffington Post "Open Sesame" Article

Superhero Cooks Unite: We Bow to Scott Conant!

 

I doubled the recipe and got 3 jars like this

 

 

I usually post recipes on my Lazy Woman blog.  Most are "lazy" meaning less stress with a delicious result.   I have actually posted about this recipe on that blog because it's such an extraordinary and perfect recipe.  But it's not LAZY actually.  In fact, as I made this the other night I realized that it's really a superhero recipe.    Scott Conant is a superhero chef.  This is his recipe (see story: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u7BeGj38J4k). And I felt like a superhero when I was making it.

 

If you LOVE cooking this is an incredibly fun adventure.  You get to cut, prep, seed with your hands, score, blanch, sautee, simmer, boil, mash, strain, drizzle, and even give and ice bath!  I always feel like I'm in a chemistry lab when I make this pasta.  It is wondrous fun!

 

I decided to make the sauce because I'm making lasagna (as well as this sauce over pasta) for a dinner party tomorrow and decided I really wanted to try this sauce in a lasagna.  I will add another post with that recipe and photos later.

 

You get to sautee garlic and basil in olive oil until it's just the right level of infused:

 

 

 

 

 

 

Straining the extra left over tomato debris...

 



 

 

I'm ashamed to say that the Roma tomatoes at my normally spectacularly produce-d local store were not great, but I bought them anyway due to time constraints, and really sort of as an experiment.  This sauce is fantastic -- different than if tomatoes were robust, but I could literally drink this sauce it's so good, even with the less than stellar tomatoes.  BUT I did have to use my immersion blender -- which was super fun:

 

 

 

 



 

 My favorite part: drizzling the magical infused olive oil into the cooked tomatoes: 

 

 

Learn how to do this step-by-step:  http://newyork.seriouseats.com/2009/10/making-scarpetta-tomato-basil-spaghetti-scott-conant-scarpetta-meatpacking-district-nyce.html

 

UNSTUNG HERO: The Summer Shield for Every Active Superhero

I bought this at the end of last mosquito season, so I was excited to try it out tonight.  I'm sitting on the patio writing.  I was being regularly dive-bombed by the little bloodsuckers, but no more.

And, it smells really good - citrus + grass to my nose.  It does not in any way shape or form smell like citronella.

There may be other places to get it now but I ordered it online from Shen Beauty.

Highly recommend.

Don't Let Your Shadow Self Drive the Car: It's Probably Not 16!

As I typed the word shadow above, a crow landed right outside the patio door!  I always think of crows as a playful shadow reminder.  This one was particularly shiny and elegant, strutting his dark shadowy self.  He then flitted over to the tree where two endlessly-chasing-each-other squirrels were un-phased by his presence only inches away.  The shadow and the light in a lovely dance.  

I wish it were always that way inside me.  The little kid in me wants to say "Can't I always be the squirrel? Can't we just play?"  Yet those shadowy crows are nestled inside us right next to the light and playful squirrels.  The bullying, domineering, sometimes attacking crow is inside me, as is the hilarious, jokester squirrel.  But it always seems like way more fun to deal with light than shadow.  Recently, though, I'm finding the hugest relief in dealing head on with those shadows. 

If we don't acknowledge that the shadow is there, it will silently, stealthily, move into position behind the steering wheel of our car of life and start driving, shoving the light over into the passenger seat without even being noticed until he crashes the car.    That happened to me last week -- FEAR drove my car right into the FLU.

After a few months of dealing with buying a house and getting settled, I have been delving back into rewrites of my book, getting comments from friends, strangers and writer's groups.  Soon my head was spinning from the feedback and I was so afraid I had to check out.  Perfect solution: stomach flu.  It allowed for unabashed complete check-out.

Once I figured out I let the shadow drive me into a wall, I got out of the car, looked through the debris and pulled that shadow self out from behind the wheel.  Who was she and why was she so afraid?   We had a good chat and I realized she was the little girl who felt incredibly unsafe when my parents divorced.  I had never realized that I felt "unsafe" during that transition time.   I didn't want to be alone with my mom who I sensed, even at that tender age, was not completely stable.  Nor did I want to be alone with my dad, because he wasn't a mom.  Neither option was completely safe, each held its own sense of danger.  As a 53 year old adult, this transition time with my book was feeling equally unsafe, and that that shadow self who was born when I was 7 years old, was crying out in fear.  I'm glad we got to talk.  Of course, as soon as we did, I was on the road to swift healing.

Doing shadow work takes far less effort than pretending the shadow isn't driving you into walls.  The more you do it, the faster you get back into the driver's seat.  I can't more highly recommend Debbie Ford's work which I've been practicing now for over 4 years.   I mention it a lot in this very fun interview I did with Ted Lyde who is himself very adept at the brave work of looking at his own shadows while making us laugh about the whole game of life.   

His interview with me:
Learning Not to Swear with Ted Lyde