Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Raising Lions in Your House: Parenting is a Hero's Journey

 
I innocently went to meet a new friend for dinner the other night.   She is accomplished writer/comedienne, Julie Larson.  Hilarious and wonderful, Julie filled me with many Wolfgang Puckian delights at Chinois on Main in Santa Monica while she told me stories.  Life was good.   We went back to her house for what I thought would be a brief introduction to her husband and then I planned to be on my way. I assumed he’d be a lovely guy.  After all he had offered to make us homemade pizza, which we ended up not needing, due to the Puckian delights.  But Julie also told me he works with kids who have behavioral challenges which is, of course, hero’s work, so the odds were stacked neatly in his favor.
Joe Newman is a wee bit more than a lovely guy though.  He is a Superhero of Love transforming the lives of children who have otherwise been deemed challenging at best, untamable at worst.   Joe knows these kids, inside and out, because he was one of them. 
Diagnosed with ADHD at age 7, Joe was one of the first round of 30,000 kids who were put on Ritalin in the 70’s.  While Ritalin allowed him to remain in public school, creating less of a disturbance than before, it didn’t equip him to gain mastery over a brain that worked a little differently than others.  It definitely didn’t help him learn more.  And, any slight positive effects on his behavior decreased as he got older.  Overall it delayed his healing.
But in his quest to find himself and his own way in the world, Joe figured out how to retrain his own brain with self-imposed behavioral changes and challenges.  Soon the kid who dropped out of college after 7 weeks and hadn’t read more than 5 books cover to cover before age 30 went back to college and ended up with a master’s degree.
Joe wanted to help other kids like him with his newfound wisdom.  He also uncovered his knack for dealing with the parents of these kids who need training and support.   He routinely help parents support their kids getting off anti-depressants, anti-psychotics and ADHD meds, some because of misdiagnoses, some because of the retraining of their brains.  Child psychiatrists and psychologists routinely recommend his services and praise his book “Raising Lions” for its wisdom and clear advice.
Joe told me of one young girl who had been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and ADHD, among other diagnoses.  She was heavily medicated and spent half of her school day in a padded cell due to her unmanageable behavior.  After several months of working with Joe she was getting straight A’s, was off the drugs and completely, happily assimilated full time in her classroom. 
I think it’s no big news that we are managing children’s behavioral issues with drugs in many cases because the adults in their lives simply don’t have the tools to help meet their needs.   Of course it isn’t for lack of trying.  If you haven’t been exposed to the right tools, you are lost. I have friends in this very situation.   They have tried every therapy and drug, read every book and they haven’t cracked the code on their kids’ neurology.
At least my friends’ kids are getting consistent love and attempts at support.  But during our chat Joe told me the statistics on our country’s overmedication of the notoriously under-parented, foster population.   In a recent San Jose Mercury News series on the over use of psychotropic drugs on  foster kids (http://webspecial.mercurynews.com/druggedkids/) notes, beyond other unfathomable statistics, that in California an astonishing 48% of foster kids ages 0 to 11, and 62% of foster kids ages 12 to 18 are on antipsychotics. 

Early in his career, when he worked at a summer camp for 290 of the toughest behavior problem children in the country he was called “Crisis Joe.”  Well, this crisis has reached epic proportions in this country, and thank God Crisis Joe is on the scene to help us all push to the other side, to a place where kids are truly thriving, inside and out. 

I’ve already bought a few copies for friends – even parents of kids over 18, who are still struggling at home.   I’ve also given the book to friends with kids who do not have behavioral issues, who merely have strong-willed kids.  When we find tools that can support any child living a more vibrant, engaged life, I think it is our duty to share them.  Every parent could glean something helpful for their child from “Raising Lions” as every parent is pushed by a child at one point or another to attend to them in such a way that they feel unequipped to respond like the superhero their kids think they are.  Since I’m in the business of supporting all of us tapping into our inner superheroes, I couldn’t stay mum about Joe for more than a few days. 

To find out more about Joe Newman and his book go to http://raisinglions.com/.

 

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